The fine folks at GarageTech understand, that you, the consumer, wanted a BETTER repelling device, one that wasn't so useless as the TradeStar standard repelling tool. We asked ourselves how we could MAKE that BETTER device, utilizing our high standards and fine workmanship to the best of our ability.
Well, after years of dedication, blood, sweat, an infinite logic loop that nearly resulted in the perpetual frozen state of our known universe, AND TEARS, we present to you, the GarageTech™ Fine Line of MicroRepulsor Products™!
QUESTION: What exactly IS a MicroRepulsor™?
ANSWER: A GarageTech MicroRepulsor™ is a unique modification to a large supply of overstock TradeStar Repellers which has the added features of a BRAND NEW Microwave Oven* and FULLY CHARGED, DISPOSABLE power sources*! Secured with only the finest grade duct tape, you will never have to worry about those embarrassing moments when you realize your batteries have fallen out of place, and your device has shut down!
* Microwave oven may not be brand new. Wattage dependent on model of MicroRepulsor™ ordered.
GarageTech is not responsible for injury, maiming, and/or death caused by incorrect disposal of batteries which may or may not be fully charged. Battery model dependent on model of MicroRepulsor™ ordered.
QUESTION: What advantages does a GarageTech MicroRepulsor™ have over the competition?
ANSWER: While a TradeStar Repeller tool is barely adequate at repelling anything, our GarageTech MicroRepulsor™ line of products will not only repel ANY PHYSICAL OBJECT coming your way, but will also MICROWAVE IT! WE GUARANTEE IT*!
* Dropship and/or rocket debris not covered by guarantee. GarageTech is not responsible for injury, maiming, and/or death caused by misuse of product. Never point MicroRepulsor™ at eyes, or at any living creature.
QUESTION: Is the GarageTech MicroRepulsor™ effective for the purpose of repelling the living dead?
ANSWER: Yes.
** Customized model shown. Image may not resemble actual product.
** Heavy model shown. Image may not resemble actual product.
The GarageTech MicroRepulsor™ comes in 3 varieties!
The Original GarageTech MicroRepulsor™: Priced at an affordable 100oz, this classic model offers one handed use*, a healthy green glow when used, and a light weight that any child could lift and use effectively*!
* GarageTech is not responsible for injury, maiming, and/or death caused by one handed use.
Never allow a child to use any GarageTech MicroRepulsor™ product.
The GarageTech Heavy MicroRepulsor™: When the classic model isn't enough, wow your neighbors with the Heavy MicroRepulsor™! With double the power of the classic model, with less then double the weight, you'll be shunting and horribly irradiating some of the heaviest objects with ease! A calming sky blue light will be emitted when you use this product. As beautiful as it is useful!
BUY NOW, AND RECEIVE FOR ONLY 100oz! THAT'S A DEAL ONLY GARAGETECH™ CAN SUPPLY YOU WITH!
And finally,
The GarageTech Customized MicroRepulsor™: We are required by federal law to not advocate usage of this product. Though, due to a loophole in the law which states that a car battery and a 2000 watt microwave attached to a repelling device is not INHERENTLY a weapon, GarageTech™ is able to supply this product for 350oz. This device will emit a red and orange glow when used. GarageTech™ does not encourage usage of this device.
ORDER NOW!
Credits:
TheLastBanana: For doing the majority of this mod. Lua and the original .inis, as well as continued support.
ThunderToes: For doing amazing sprites. We love you. <3
Grif: For helping me a touch with the lua when TLB was unavailable.
Dauss: Yours truly. The original idea, and .ini coding after the original model. Also the glows, other then the green one. Also writing up this FANTASTIC post, if I do say so myself. And if you're reading this far, perhaps you'd like to make me some gifs for the original post too? That would be rad.
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