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 Game Idea! Funny Fake "Death" Newspaper Headings! 
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Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2007 9:02 pm
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Location: Somewhere. Nowhere.
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"MAN DIES IN FATAL CAR CRASH ACCIDENT WITH NO HANDS!"
Subheading: Now that we've got your attention...


Wed Jun 20, 2007 3:52 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2007 5:51 pm
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Location: Sector ZZ9PuralZAlpha
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JESUS IMPERSONATOR DROWNS

Cannot walk on water


Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:05 pm
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Lol.


INCREDIBLY STUPID MAN DIES IN CAR ACCIDENT
He ran himself over!


Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:06 pm
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HELICOPTER CRASH, NO ONE HURT

All passengers dead


Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:08 pm
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Damn. How can I out funny you?..

BOMB FOUND IN NEWSPAPER
Don't turn the page...


Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:10 pm
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Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:09 am
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Location: Plymouth, NC
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muffinmonkey wrote:
JESUS IMPERSONATOR DROWNS

Cannot walk on water


I lol'd.


Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:42 pm
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"MAN DIES KILLING HIMSELF IN THE PAST!"

Subheader: "He created a paradox that will blew up the universe in a few minutes too but we don't care about that"


Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:45 pm
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Nuns Forgive Break-in, Assault Suspect

Utah Girl Does Well In Dog Shows

Smithsonian Might Cancel Bombing of Japan Exhibits

TV Networks Agree To Police Violence

Bush Planning Mars Trip

Autos Killing 110 a Day, Let's Resolve To Do Better

Arafat Swears in Cabinet

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Sewer District Plans Emergency Backup

Man Accused Of Shooting Neightbor, Dog Held For Trial


All of which were actual headlines, brought to you by Uncle John's Curoiusly Compelling Bathroom Reader.


I can't think of any myself, of course...


Murder Victim, Adulterer Declared Incompetent To Stand Trial On Grounds Of Decomposition



EDIT: Let's not forget the old standby, considered the jewel of "Hey, Martha!" headings...


HEADLESS BODY FOUND IN TOPLESS BAR


Wed Jun 20, 2007 7:05 pm
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JESUS CHRIST

THE PART ABOUT SMELLING FARTS IS REFERRING TO THEM HAVING THEIR HEADS UP THEIR ASSES

...

I hate people.


Wed Jun 20, 2007 7:09 pm
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NEWSPAPER READERS ASSASSINATED ACROSS THE GLOBE - YOU'RE MOST LIKELY SCREWED NOW


Wed Jun 20, 2007 11:45 pm
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"CLICHE TITLES ANGER THE PRESSES!"

You can figure out the explanation there.


Wed Jun 20, 2007 11:52 pm
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FATHER VENN LOGS OFF - WORLD PHENOMENON


Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:01 am
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DARTH VADER IMPERSONATOR RAN OVER BY TRAIN - MAN TRIED TO STOP MOVING VEHICLE WITH THE "FORCE"


Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:03 am
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DRL Developer
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Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:27 am
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THE PROGRAM IS NOT RESPONDING, WOULD YOU LIKE TO TERMINATE IT?
Send error report?


Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:56 am
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"MAN SLAIN IN HOME. WORDS SIGN YOUR POSTS NOW CARVED INTO CHEST."


Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:11 am
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