Oh goddamn.

> Convert leg stump into jets.

Make a paper aircraft.

HARR HARR,I BE ROLLIN 1'S ALL THE TIME!

"Aircraft" is rather ambiguous don'cha think? And don' get cocky either - just as you say "HAHA IM INVINCIBLE !!!" you roll poorly and injure yourself. Murphy's Law or somesuch.

Rawl.

Bentus [1]: You move over to a pile of guns that you suddenly notice in the corner of your office. Why is there a pile of guns here? You don't remember putting a gunpile here. You reach in to throw them away, but accidentally hit the trigger of one of them, and a 3 round burst goes into your spleen. You fall to the ground in horrible agony.
Inventory:
- Godly Schrodinger's Cupcake
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Mayor of Purrolia
- Bullet'd Spleen

Tomaster [0]: You stomp down the road towards Ponyville, looking deadly and intimidating. Ah, speaking of ponies, there's a 4 winged Pegasus right now! Perfect timing, now to swat it out of the air! Until, without warning, cupcakes start raining from the sky. Oh god. You know what comes next.
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Sticky
- Giant

Duh102 [1 > CUPCAKES]: You accidentally summon another torrential downpour of cupcakes. You look behind you on a whim, and see a giant cat thinking of swatting you. He looks up at something. You look up too.
Oh ♥♥♥♥.
Inventory:
- Map to Ponyville
Abilities:
- Apprentice of Disguise
- Pony Transformation
- PegaPonySaurus
Conditions:

Roast Veg [1]: You tie a few scraps of tin foil and cardboard to your stumps in a sad, sad, blood-loss delirium fueled attempt to give yourself rocket legs. They fall apart the moment you let go of the dirty string used to hold them together.
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Pants-less
- Exploded Feet

Tokochiro [0]: You easily fold yourself a paper airplane. Hours of family friendly entertainment!
Inventory:
- Paper Robot
-- Paper Gun
- Paper Bullet
- Paper Wizard Hat
- Paper Robe
- Paper Katana
- Paper Airplane
Abilities:
Conditions:
- The Mailman
- Paper Wizard

Game Events:
Bentus is in his Office.
Tomaster is on the road to Ponyville.
Duh102 is on the road to Ponyville.
Roast Veg is somewhere in the city.
Tokochiro is the Mailman.

Tomaster and Duh watch in horror as the godking of all Cupcakes descends from the sky, leaving a fiery trail of red-hot air in its wake. It must be miles wide, and at least one and a half times as tall. None shall escape its divine fury.
Down descends the Leviamuffin, and all perish who are caught in its wake.
You have 1 turn before impact.

> Stop Leviamuffin.

I'm a ♥♥♥♥ cat? That's gunna hafta change sooner or later.
Get even bigger, and then run the hell outta the blast radius.

Go?

I WILL WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT.
WHICH IS NOW.

Bentus [0 > CUPCAKE?]: You put the bullet out of your mind for a second, and look for a distraction. You remember that you've got a cupcake in your pocket! No better way to distract than with sugar! You nom the cupcake happily, and the Godly Schrodinger's Cupcake causes the you in your office to no longer exist. Simultaneously, the you that did not exist next to Duh, exists, sans bullet.
Inventory:
- Godly Schrodinger's Cupcake
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Mayor of Purrolia

Tomaster [0]: You grow even larger, ignoring the obvious implications. With a startling *PSHOOMP*, your head becomes lodged in Leviamuffin.
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Sticky
- Giant

Duh102 [0]: "Low Orbit Ion Cannon, ♥♥♥♥."
You shapeshift into the ultimate of orbital weapons, except in atmosphere. The destruction from when you fire a blue-white ray of ionic annihilation into Leviamuffin is tantamount to Armageddon.
Sublimated plasmized cupcake, everywhere.
Inventory:
- Map to Ponyville
Abilities:
- Apprentice of Disguise
- Pony Transformation
- Low Orbit Ion Cannon
Conditions:

Roast Veg [0]: A hot glob of cupcake lands on your feet, imbuing you with Cake Radiation! You become... RED VELVET! THE GREATEST CAKE BASED SUPERHERO OF ALL TIIIIIIIIME!
Inventory:
Abilities:
- Red Velvet
Conditions:

Tokochiro [0]: A large glob of burning cupcake smashes you into the ground, engulfing you in burning fury. All of your paper becomes ash, and you suffer horrendous burns!
Inventory:
- Ash
Abilities:
Conditions:
- The Mailman

Game Events:
Bentus is with Duh.
Tomaster is on the road to Ponyville.
Duh102 is on the road to Ponyville.
Roast Veg is somewhere in the city.
Tokochiro is the Mailman.

> Shapeshift back into a Pony. Deliver some cupcakes to Ponyville.

Yes!
> Discover my new powers.