"Does this dress make my ass look big?"
"I never knew baby seal tasted so good!"

"Your mom."

May I ask why this hasn't been locked yet?

The actual content of the thread is worth less than the of contents of, say, this one.
The above thread actually was constructive (in the literal sense of building a story), as opposed to being a large number of unconnected 'humorous' posts.

Here, there is no reason to respond to any other post, and so we have a thread which entirely avoids the point of a forum: to discuss things.

I agree with you, but this is the off-topic subforum, a lawless land where only the bravest of mods dare to venture, and even then, they need a good reason.

I won't cry if this thread does get locked, but while it isn't I'll just make the most of it.

"Could you pass the flesh over here, Mr. Obama?"

All of them lol.

"You know guys, murder and adultery aren't so bad"
"Lets stop by McDonald's on the back from the Pope convention"
*Walks to the podium* "♥♥♥♥♥es AND ladies!" *walks away*
"I always turn the gun sideways"
"They wanna catch me ridin' dirty... IN MAH POEPMOBIEL!!!"
"They see me trollin'... they hatin'"
"Why can't I smex you again, sir?"
"GET TO TEH CHOPPA!!!1!!"
"Who is this 'jesus' character again?"

"Battle-Pope, ENGAGE!!!!" *presses button*


"Oh lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it, thou mayest blow thine enemies into tiny bits....in thy mercy."

Hohoho i see what you did. Now back to the ministry of silly walks with you.

"And now for something completely different. KABOOM"

I know some stuff.

"PISSING OUT THE WINDOW AND SHITTING OUT THE WINDOW ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS! "
"LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A PORCUPINES BALLS, THEY'RE SMALL, AND THEY DON'T GIVE A ♥♥♥♥!"
"♥♥♥♥ SALT."
"I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS CHICKEN ♥♥♥♥ bull♥♥♥♥."
"WHY DON'T YOU MAKE LIKE A BANNANNA, AND ♥♥♥♥!"
"I BOUGHT YOUR COLGATE TOOTHPASTE, THE ONE WITH TARTER CONTROL, AND IT MADE ME FEEL, LIKE A PEICE OF ♥♥♥♥!"
"DON'T TALK ♥♥♥♥ ABOUT TOTAL."
"EAT MY SHORT ♥♥♥♥."
"OH BOB SAGGET."
"♥♥♥♥ YOU, ♥♥♥♥ YOU, ♥♥♥♥ YOU IN THE ASS!"
And last of all my favorite,
"WHO'S THE ♥♥♥♥♥♥ WITH THE TUBA?"

"My religion stops me from eating pork."

"Bob Marley is the greatest"

Actually...

"[insert name of really controversial person here] is frickin' epic!"

"This is a useful thread."

"Obama is frickin' epic!" (for the epic lols)
"Squadalah! Were off!"
"It is against my religion to have sex outside of marriage...
Alter boys don't count though!"
"Trolololololololololololololololololololol"
"Im the scatman!"