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 Roll to Derp (22 Rolls) 
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Joined: Fri Dec 22, 2006 4:20 am
Posts: 4772
Location: Good news everyone!
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (16 Rolls)
caekdaemon [2]
Eat the shirts to gain the wearers power.

    You quickly consume the shirts, hoping to gain the power of the previous owners.
    Unfortunately, not only did the original wearers not have powers, it also doesn't work that way.
    You... start to feel a little queasy.


TorrentHKU [5]
> GIVE REALITY A TIME OUT.

    TorrentHKU: "THAT'S IT REALITY, YOU'RE STUPID AND DUMB, GO TAKE A TIME OU-"

    *SLAM*


    ???: "ARE YOU ♥♥♥♥ LISTENING TO ME?"

    A hand is wrapped tightly around your pitiful neck, pinning you to the wall.

    ???: "Did you see what he just did? That guy over there with the mechanical leg! He just built that. Right on the spot! No normal human could do that."

    You try to speak, but the words don't make it past your constricted throat.

    ???: "Don't you see? He's signed up for Doc's... program. When you're signed up for it, reality gets kicked to the curb, just like you want. You can do anything. You heart's desire is yours."

    She loosens her grip, just enough for you to speak.

    TorrentHKU: "Hey, lighten up you crazy bitc-"

    You get slammed against the wall again, sending waves of pain rippling through your aching back.
    Now she's suspending you just above the floor, forcing you to hold on to her wrist just to keep from choking.

    ???: "No, you aren't getting it. Maybe I have to spell it out for you."

    Her grip is tighter than ever, and your vision begins to blur.

    ???: "The Doc, my father, recently developed... well, I called it the program, but to be honest, I don't even know what it is. All I know is that if you sign on the dotted line, your greatest dreams are granted. Anything you can imagine. Of course, there is a catch. It only lasts so long - but even in that small amount of time you can do incredible things. I'm sure you understand by now what this means."

    The woman gestures towards the dead old man lying on the floor.

    ???: "Now, before we get ahead of ourselves, I want to make something clear. His death, or the death of somebody else here is as least partially your fault. Now, normally, there wouldn't be a way for you, or anyone else here, to fix your little mistake. But this time it's different. So here's my offer."

    She lets go, and you collapse to your knees, breathing heavily.

    A paper with a signature line and a pen land in front of you.

    ???: "You sign up, fix your little mistake, have your fun, and we can all go home."


Harzipan [2]
EXPLORE. Find innocent civilians. Or a weapon. Or both.

    You recall Adriaan's mission to leave the room, so you assume your attempts will be equally fruitful. None of the people in here look particularly "innocent" either.
    As far as a weapon, everything around here looks pretty mundane, you don't know how you'd use anything as a weapon.

    Well, there IS a stapler on the old guy's desk. Probably wouldn't be too effective though.
Abilities
  • Cyborgnetic leg.


Izen [2]
>Use dirty tricks Caekdemon advised

    Prosecutor: "Your honor, it's obvious he's just stalling for time. It is your obligation to end this case quickly and concisely."

    Judge: "You're right. We should get this over with."

    Izen: "Objection! Judge, none of this makes any sense! Everybody is in reality right now! Including this court case."

    Judge: "Hm..."

    The crowd observing the case is starting to talk amongst themselves! It looks like you might have this under control after all.

    Prosecutor: "Objection! Your honor, in case you've forgotten, we're currently in the Ghost World, not Reality. The defendant's unlawful intrusion upon Reality still stands in this court."

    Izen: "Objection! You can't be serious! That's stupid!"

    The crowd explodes in an uproar!

    Crowd: "That's got to be the lamest retort I've ever heard! He deserves his punishment!"
    Crowd: "Are you kidding? He's obviously got a point. They should let him go!"

    Judge: "Order in my courtroom! ORDEEEEEEER!"

    A pin drops in the back of the room.

    Judge: "Now then. I'm prepared to make my judgement."

    Judge: "On the count of unlawful violation of Reality this court finds you... Not guilty."


    You can't believe it! You did it! You're free!

    Izen: "YAHOOOOOO!"


    Judge: "However, there are still the matters of your sins back in reality to be dealt with."

    Izen: "What?!"

    Judge: "On the count of refilling your soda when there were no free refills allowed, this court finds you guilty as charged. Your sentence is eternity in purgatory."


    The bailiff comes over, puts you in cuffs, and starts to drag you away.

    Izen: "NOOOOOOOOOO! I'M INNOCENT! THE CASHIER NEVER TOLD ME THERE WERE NO REFILLS!"


Thu Aug 30, 2012 2:57 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (17 Rolls)
Transmodify my arm into a boneshard shooting gun. Make sure there is a slot for inserting more bones.


Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:39 am
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Data Realms Elite
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Location: Hell.
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (17 Rolls)
Izen, you got off easy. You could've been thrown into the Lake of Fire, which is complete and utter oblivion for you. You'll probably get out in 3 to 5 years for good behaviour, or you can try a plea bargain.

Or mention the existence of a extradition treaty between reality and the ghost world. Actually, do that. An extradition treaty between the ghost world and reality would mean you would need to be sent to reality to account for your crimes.

In other words, you'd have to go to the shop and pay up.

"Damn it! I have devoured too much power. I must...metabolize it!"
Absorb the power from the shirts.


Thu Aug 30, 2012 4:10 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (17 Rolls)
"Wait so we can just.
Literally.
Do whatever we want?"


Thu Aug 30, 2012 4:27 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (17 Rolls)
"Pretty much."


Harzipan [5]
Transmodify my arm into a boneshard shooting gun. Make sure there is a slot for inserting more bones.

    You close your eyes, and imagine your arm. It's fleshy, humanoid, and pathetic.
    You hope to change that. You modify the bone structure to allow it to fire projectiles by adding in a hollow barrel, integrated with biological elements to make it capable of handling different sizes of ammunition. You also modify the skin pores in your arm to suck in air, sending it to a sac. The sac, if activated from a twitch of the finger's tendon, is capable of unloading the air into the hollow bone.

    Upon opening your eyes, you can see the half-organic gun before your very eyes. It's very impressive.
    You've outdone yourself!
Abilities
  • Cyborgnetic leg.
  • Cyborgnetic Arm-gun.


caekdaemon [6]
Absorb the power from the shirts.

    You quickly absorb what you can from the shirts.

    Unfortunately, that includes the slightly toxic coloring agents used in the fabric.
    You don't even live long enough to regret your decision.


Sun Sep 23, 2012 1:08 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (18 Rolls)


caekdaemon
18 Rolls


Sun Sep 23, 2012 1:11 am
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Data Realms Elite
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (18 Rolls)
>Suddenly become an all-powerful god, you know, like I actually am.
No really like I can pretty much do anything in the anime so.


Sun Sep 23, 2012 1:42 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (18 Rolls)
Miggles [2]
>Suddenly become an all-powerful god, you know, like I actually am.
No really like I can pretty much do anything in the anime so.

    You haven't signed anything yet. Harzipan was the only one who got a chance to until now, since the old man died.


??? [-]
> Recruit all the idiots.

    You hand everyone who's still alive a nice little contract. Now it's up to them if they want in.


Sun Sep 23, 2012 2:35 am
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Loose Canon
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (18 Rolls)
> Sign ze contract.


Sun Sep 23, 2012 3:04 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (18 Rolls)
Find a civilian. Promptly.


Sun Sep 23, 2012 3:39 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (18 Rolls)
>Make an escape from purgatory. Sign a deal to make a multi-million dollar movie about it


Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:16 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (19 Rolls)
TorrentHKU [5]
> Sign ze contract.

    You sign the contract.

    You... don't feel any different.
Inventory
  • All the pants.


Harzipan [2]
Find a civilian. Promptly.

    You walk to the door and find one of the men in the room derping in front of the door. You think his name was... Adriaan? He isn't even moving, he's just staring at the door.

    Pathetic.

    You shove him out of the way and kick the door with your Cyborgnetic leg.
    Your leg breaks apart from the force of the kick, sending you to land on your ass.
Abilities
  • Cyborgnetic Arm-gun.
Inventory
  • Broken cyborgnetic leg.
Conditions
  • Lacking a calf on one leg.


Izen [1]
>Make an escape from purgatory. Sign a deal to make a multi-million dollar movie about it

    Nobody escapes purgatory.


Sun Sep 23, 2012 5:23 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (19 Rolls)
> That person said this was temporary? Make it permanent.
Also grow some impressive black demon horns, but have them curve back a bit before curving up.


Sun Sep 23, 2012 5:31 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (19 Rolls)
TorrentHKU [5]
> That person said this was temporary? Make it permanent. Also grow some impressive black demon horns, but have them curve back a bit before curving up.

    Your cunning mind thinks up a plot.

    You probe around in an undefinable space, until you happen upon a switch clearly marked "Power Permanency."
    Your heart fills with glee as you flip it, and you're sucked back into reality.

    That should do the trick.

    If your ego wasn't already large enough, you top it off with some demon horns.
Abilities
  • Permanent power.
  • Demon horns.
Inventory
  • All the pants.


Sun Sep 23, 2012 5:41 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (19 Rolls)
"... Demon horns? Could you have chosen a more useless, idiotic power?"


Sun Sep 23, 2012 5:46 am
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