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 Roll to Derp (22 Rolls) 
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (14 Rolls)
Harzipan [5]
Build new leg out of spare parts.

    You look around, spotting several, never before seen spare parts simply lying around.
    How that happened you're not sure, but you combine the random metallic spare parts with your old leg to create some sort of strange cyborg leg.
    You're not entirely sure of you did this through the crippling pain, but you plug it in where your leg used to be, and all pain from your leg subsides.
    And... it works pretty well.
    Huh, cool.
Abilities
  • Cyborgnetic leg.


Izen [1]
>Panic

    Izen: "Oh. Oh no. I can see where this is going real fast."

    Just then, the Bailiff walks in with the witness, Reality. Reality proceeds to sit down at a stand by the judge.

    Prosecutor: "Now tell us, what happened."
    Reality: "I remember it clearly. It was no less than thirty minutes ago. I felt somebody... undressing me. Peering through to my unexposed self! But it didn't stop there... the person, he... he touched me. He went inside of me. He defiled my purity!"

    Crowd: "GASP!"

    Prosecutor: "Now, Reality, I have taken the liberty of bringing this doll with me here. Now please show the court, where did this person touch you?"
    Reality: "He.. he..."
    Prosecutor: "It's okay, Reality, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Just show us on the doll where you were touched."
    Reality: "It was right..." *points to a spot on the doll, looking down in shame* "Here."

    Crowd: "GASP!"

    Prosecutor: "Now, Reality. Do you know who committed these heartless acts against you?"
    Reality: "Yes... In fact he's in this very room."
    Prosecutor: "Now, this is crucial. Please show us who defiled you in this horrible manner."
    Reality: "It was THAT man! In the defendant's chair!"


    Crowd: "GASP!"


    Judge: "I've heard enough! The idea of such a heinous crime against such an innocent victim as this is simply irreconcilable! Izen, do you have anything to say before I pass my sentence?"

    Izen: "I-I-I... Um..."

    Judge: "Well?"


Miggles [6]
> I'm the anti-spiral, damnit! I can do anything! Get up and punch HKU so hard he intestines come out!

    You snap back to your senses, jump up, and ready a punch.
    Miggles: "ANTI-SPIRAL..."

    Just when you're about to fall over backwards, you push forward with all of your strength, jamming your fist straight into HKU's pitiful spiral lumbar!
    Miggles: "PAWWWNCH!"

    The effect is dazzling, in fact you can almost swear there was a trail of fire over your fist. The punch immediately sends him writhing to the floor in pain.


    But right after your first moment of awesome, you realize your fist feels like it's been shattered into about twenty pieces.

    Miggles: "AUUUGH!"


TorrentHKU [4]
> Go help person with grievous injuries who is apparently about to die.

    Can't...

    Too busy dying...


Asklar [4]
>SUICIDE

    Congratulations, you're dead.

    And you aren't quite sure where you are now. Oh, well.
    At least the mood is nice. You think you see complementary chocolates in the distance too!


Tue Aug 28, 2012 2:33 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (15 Rolls)


Asklar
15 Rolls


Tue Aug 28, 2012 2:35 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (14 Rolls)
Hunter-Killer Form: Activate. Subprotocol: Murder Innocents


Tue Aug 28, 2012 2:42 am
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Data Realms Elite
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (14 Rolls)
Izen, listen to me carefully. This trial is against you, but you still have a chance for victory. It saddens me to say it, but you may have to use some dirty tricks here.

Try saying about how everything is inside Reality, including this court right now. That might buy you some time.

Sign me up for this.


Tue Aug 28, 2012 2:47 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (15 Rolls)
> Use crazy powers to switch my injuries over to Miggles.


Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:25 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (15 Rolls)
Harzipan [1]
Hunter-Killer Form: Activate. Subprotocol: Murder Innocents

    What?

    It's a just a leg, it's not like you're an evil cyborg bent on world domination.

    Come to think of it, you aren't really sure how you made the leg. You don't know the first thing about electronics.
Abilities
  • Cyborgnetic leg.


caekdaemon [1]
???

    You walk in the door to the place you've heard so much about!

    caekdaemon: "Hi! Where do I sign up?"

    ...

    Woah. There's like, three dead bodies in here. What's going on?


TorrentHKU [5]
> Use crazy powers to switch my injuries over to Miggles.

    You use your crazy powers to transfer your injuries over to Miggles.

    Except, the thing is, you don't have any TOTALLY HAVE crazy powers.

    You must not have signed up for them yet. Huh.
    Or whatever that means.
    SUDDENLY MIGGLES'S BACK SHATTERS AND YOUR BACK HEALS TO PERFECTION.


Last edited by CrazyMLC on Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:44 am, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:38 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (16 Rolls)
"I'm a little late, eh? Damn. Only one thing to do..."
Become excellent looter by looting the dead.


Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:40 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (16 Rolls)
> PERFECTION.


Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:41 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (16 Rolls)
My back is actually fine TOTALLY BROKEN because HKU doesn't have HAS crazy powers.


Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:49 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (16 Rolls)
caekademon [5]
Become excellent looter by looting the dead.

    They all seem to be looted already, aside from clothing - they still have the shirts on their back. You decide to take those as a consolation prize.

    All their pants are missing though? You aren't sure what's up with that.


TorrentHKU [-5000]
> PERFECTION.

    Reality punts you in the ass for being a foot. Your pelvis is now shattered along with your back. IS TOTALLY AWESOME. Congratulations.
    Reality gives you a warning that if you ♥♥♥♥ with it again it'll cut off your ♥♥♥♥.


Miggles [6]
My back is actually fine TOTALLY BROKEN because HKU doesn't have HAS crazy powers.

    You're so confused. You need to lie down and nurse your fist a bit.


Last edited by CrazyMLC on Tue Aug 28, 2012 4:00 am, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:53 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (16 Rolls)
Eat the shirts to gain the wearers power.

"I think it works like that..."


Tue Aug 28, 2012 4:00 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (16 Rolls)
NO ♥♥♥♥ YOU REALITY YOU'RE DUMB AND WRONG.
> GIVE REALITY A TIME OUT.


Tue Aug 28, 2012 4:04 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (16 Rolls)
???
> Finish ♥♥♥♥ mourning already and get these buttheads to figure things out.

    ... These bastards have to fix what they've done.

    ???: "So you guys... you're here for the main event aren't you. The new project Doc had been advertising?"

    You bet the answer is going to be yes, but you humor them with the question anyway.


Tue Aug 28, 2012 4:15 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (16 Rolls)
EXPLORE. Find innocent civilians. Or a weapon. Or both.


Tue Aug 28, 2012 4:20 am
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Post Re: Roll to Derp (16 Rolls)
>Use dirty tricks Caekdemon advised
"But everybody is in reality right now! Including this court case."


Tue Aug 28, 2012 4:36 am
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