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 Roll to Dodge GOD 
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> Attack.


Fri Dec 25, 2015 2:10 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
MEDIC!!!!!


Tue Dec 29, 2015 7:06 pm
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
dragonxp: [5+1=6]
dragonxp: "BLOOD AND THUNDER YOU OLD BAT"
You spawn twin sporkswords, one in each hand, and sprint towards the ramp table while the queen continues flailing and eye-beaming, unable to actually get the golem on her face off without any hands. As you leap off the table, both swords drawn overhead for a twin downward thrust, you realize the folly of trying to shove plastic sporks into massive eyes shooting massive eyelasers. Thinking quickly, you manage to turn the stabs into semi-throws in midair, just as the lasers sweep down past you, eradicating both arms. Thankfully, this doesn't kill all the momentum of your now vaporized sporks, and a fair amount splatters into the queen's eyes.
She gives a mighty scream and clamps both eyes tightly shut, the bright red energy glowing angrily behind her closed eyelids, before suddenly the laser starts coming from her mouth, drowning out any words in a violent and energetic "WHARRGARBLE".

Character:


CrazyMLC: [3]
Caek: "Any takers?"
CrazyMLC: "I guess we could do that. Like, have you make us fail every bet, and then we bet everything we have and make them laugh at us as everyone goes all in, then you make us win."
Maart3n: "Well gents, best of luck. I'll come along to expand my skellington army."
Satisfied with this plan, the three of you make your way to the nearest rowdiest pub, positively awash with drunken sailors, and head inside. The interior is even worse than the outside; bawdy sea shanties being sang by drunk crowds of pirates, a few wenches with a dirty sailor's arm around there waist here and there, drinks flowing freely and dice being thrown in side-table gambling.
Ah, that last one! That's the one you want! So, what's the plan of attack?

Character:


TheKebbit: [1]
Kebb: "AM HAVE LOSTED USE OF ENGLAND WORD AND ALSO THE MATH ROCKS"
Lady Paramedic: "U wot? Oh! I see, your noggin's gobber bits popped off for a crow!"
You're not sure which is harder to understand, your broken word-speak or the paramedic's fully functional brit-speak.
Man Paramedic: "Oi, Eunice, we still got that mason of Porfil's?"
Lady Paramedic: "Think we used it on that chap what with the barking."
Man Paramedic: "Oh yeah... he was great, heheh. So uh, what do we do with this chancer?"
Lady Paramedic: "Uhhh... Oh! I've got just the thing! ANESTHETIC!"
You get halfway through a questioning word-mess before a wooden mallet comes down hard on your head, rendering you unconscious.


You slowly come to on your back with an aching headache and blurry vision. The paramedics are both standing over you, looking down expectantly.
Lady Paramedic: "The operation was a success, love!"
Man Paramedic: "So... how do you feel?"

Character:


CaveCricket48: [6]
You deeply consider the consequences and merits of attacking, of ending this skeleton captain's existence...
Should you really be wiping him out, eradicating him like this? Is it worth it? Is it right? Are you one to judge who gets to live and who gets to die?
Eh ♥♥♥♥.
The three heads all fire their blinding white beams of energy at the now peg-less Pegbeard, utterly erasing him from existence as his life point meter rapidly drops to zero.
You win!

Well ass. A deal's a deal I suppose, you're Captain now. Impressed you beat my Stand.
Wait what, you're alive?!
Of course I'm alive. It's a card game. What, did you think I'd actually DIE?
...No. Course not.
That'd be ridiculous. And, uh, awful.

Character:


caekdaemon: [2]
Caek: "Port Royale...you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious...
Right, now here's the plan; I've got the ability to make the dice come out any number I want, whenever I want, but I can't stop the fact that I've done so from appearing in my eyes. Something to do with the rules, I guess...but if one of you were to go gambling, I could sit near the bar and rig the die without getting caught.
That means we always win whenever we gamble, and we'll absolutely rake in a fortune whilst we're here. I just need someone to do the gambling for me; we split our winnings 50/50, and if we find someone willing to gamble a ship or something we'll get off this island and go to Monte Carlo for the big leagues. Money, fame, whatever you want, it'll be ours for the taking.
Any takers?"

CrazyMLC: "I guess we could do that. Like, have you make us fail every bet, and then we bet everything we have and make them laugh at us as everyone goes all in, then you make us win."
Maart3n: "Well gents, best of luck. I'll come along to expand my skellington army."
Satisfied with this plan, the three of you make your way to the nearest rowdiest pub, positively awash with drunken sailors, and head inside. The interior is even worse than the outside; bawdy sea shanties being sang by drunk crowds of pirates, a few wenches with a dirty sailor's arm around there waist here and there, drinks flowing freely and dice being thrown in side-table gambling.
Ah, that last one! That's the one you want! So, what's the plan of attack?

Character:


maart3n: [3]
Caek: "Any takers?"
CrazyMLC: "I guess we could do that. Like, have you make us fail every bet, and then we bet everything we have and make them laugh at us as everyone goes all in, then you make us win."
Maart3n: "Well gents, best of luck. I'll come along to expand my skellington army."
While they discuss tactics, you fit Pegbeard's beard onto the Fortress of Diplomancy's head. It seems happy with this.
The others head to a pub, and you follow along with them. The interior is even worse than the outside; bawdy sea shanties being sang by drunk crowds of pirates, a few wenches with a dirty sailor's arm around there waist here and there, drinks flowing freely and dice being thrown in side-table gambling.
You and your skellington friends look around in search of more skellingtons. Sadly, this establishment is full of flesh and blood sailors, not skellingtons. Of course, you could always MAKE some skellingtons...

Character:


Seraphimo: [3]
You again cry for a medic, this time with a significantly tire-marked accent. And hey, another Ambulance busts through the wall and-
*SPLAT*
GOD DAMMIT NOT AGAIN
Oh, wait. They're actually getting out this time. And-
Wait, is that a car air pump. Wait, where are you- No, that doesn't go in your nose. Oh god, no plz, SHITAGH

Miraculously, their quack miracle healing air pump works, and your ails are cured! Huh, modern medical science is amazing.

Character:


Ociamarru: [1]
You continue pondering the secrets of this vault, while the casino girl develops a language entirely composed of frightened squeaks. Or is just scared, you're not sure.

Character:


Events:
The Queen is now blind and furious, releasing her red energetic breath willy nilly. She's now rotating fast enough to cause the beam to form coherent spirals around her, making the red beams into a sort of disk going everywhere. Thankfully, she's also floating a few dozen feet in the air, far above any heads. The 360 degrees of laser is having the effect of slowly burning away the upper half of the casino though, and it appears the ceiling is slowly dropping into the path of the beam and getting vaporized inch by inch.


Tue Jan 12, 2016 6:41 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> Create spork arms and look for an exit


Tue Jan 12, 2016 8:27 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
>Attempt to recite the alphabet backward. Do not lose control.


Tue Jan 12, 2016 11:36 pm
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
"Oy you there! Yer mum's a Beeping beep, beepity beep beep."
Insult worthy future skellingtons until bar fight ensues.


Wed Jan 13, 2016 1:02 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> Go to Caek and talk

"Do you have any idea how to get out of here? If you do I offer my assistance to you."


Wed Jan 13, 2016 9:29 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> Summon Exodia


Wed Jan 13, 2016 10:39 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> Call upon the skeleton crew to build a flying ship.


Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:06 pm
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
Seraphimo wrote:
> Go to Caek and talk

"Do you have any idea how to get out of here? If you do I offer my assistance to you."

"Who said anything about escaping? Now, let's get rich."

Clip MLC around the ear before he can ruin everything, then send either of them to the nearest table of dice gamblers...and as they play, rig the die in my friend's favor from afar.


Sun Feb 07, 2016 11:38 pm
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
dragonxp: [4]
Dodging left and right around the casino floor, made a bit harder by your lack of arms, you quickly escape from the vicinity of the Queen while she begins rolling her head along the ground to get the spork golem off and hopefully get the melted plastic out of her eyes. The golem is left on the ground stunned for a moment, but immediately jumps on the crown of her head and continues ineffectually stabbing her. Meanwhile, you get behind some pillars and force sporks from the ether to take the place of your arms. It feels ridiculously prickly and plastic, but you have arms again.
Meanwhile, the Queen is scooting around upside down, rubbing her head against the ground in an attempt to dislodge your golem.

Character:


CrazyMLC: [1]
You decide to show these nerds a REAL card game.
With a brilliant slide-tackle, you interrupt their game of dice, sending the table flying, along with all the players' winnings and drinks. Sprawled out on the floor in front of a half dozen shocked sailors, you exclaim.
MLC: "I SUMMON EXODIA, THE FORBIDDEN ONE!"
...
Uh.


MLC: "And that's how I got here."
Bonefriend: YER AN IDIOT, LUV.

Character:


TheKebbit: [5]
Kebb: "Z... Y... X... Ham..."
...
Ham?
Man Paramedic: "Bloody hell Eunice I told you a ham sambake can't talk!"
Lady Paramedic: "Bugger your mum they can't, there was that chav with the lunch on the telly last week!"
Man Paramedic: "That was fish and chips, completely different! Now look what you've done, this poor trouncer's gotta speak with a food lisp!"
Lady Paramedic: "Well I guess I feel right nasty now, don't I. Oh well!"
And with that, the two dubiously trained paramedics eject you from the back of the speeding ambulance before zooming off to malpractice on more people in need. Looking around, you realize the ambulance was in fact just circling around the casino floor for a half hour, not actually taking you anywhere.
What a bunch of nutters.

Character:


CaveCricket48: [6]
Cave: Alright then you bony lagabouts, we've got a new ship to make, and materials ALL over the place.
They just sort of stare at you for a bit before you realize the problem. Facing the now de-pegged Pegbeard, you take his hat for your own, and the disgraced captain's shoulders slump sadly.
Cave: NOW THEN. ABOUT THAT SHIP.
AYE AYE CAPTAIN!
The skellingtons all salute in unison, bowing to the power of your naval authority and hat, then spring into action, collecting fallen wooden beams and various chunks of rubble and assembling them into various shapes and structures. You're pretty sure they'll be at it for a while, so you decide to come back later.
...Hm. It comes to you now that a big bone-axe might be sending the wrong sort of message now that you're commanding skeletons yourself. Like a human using severed forearm on a pole as a weapon.
Your Stand floats behind you, satisfied at the recent victory, with a slightly curious look on his face.

Character:


caekdaemon: [2]
Caek: "Who said anything about escaping? Now, let's get rich."
You say to no one in particular. Odd, you wonder if someone was trying to talk to you from a great distance.
You head to the bar itself, keeping one ear on the conversation around you, and wait for your allies to join the dice game.
MLC: "I SUMMON EXODIA, THE FORBIDDEN ONE!"
Maart3n: "Oy you there! Yer mum's a Beeping beep, beepity beep beep."
And so much for that plan. You sigh noisily as a riot breaks out behind you to beat up MLC and also everyone else.

Character:


maart3n: [6]
Hm. MLC is off to play some dice, or something, so you instead chat up some burly looking sailor types.
Maart3n: "Oy you there! Yer mum's a Beeping beep, beepity beep beep."
Dead silence from them, then they roll their sleeves up.
A few beatings later, the sailors are on the floor groaning in pain, while you are right as rain and feeling good about your chances with their skellingtons. Really helps to hae a stupidly large sword and magic bone armor! Then, you see the crowd part, and a particular sailor approach. The sailor is a bit short, but with massive muscular forearms complete with anchor tattoos, and has a corncob pipe, large jutting chin, and squinting eyes.

Character:


Seraphimo: [2]
Seraphimo: "Do you have any idea how to get out of here? If you do I offer my assistance to you."
You say to no one in particular. Sadly, Caek, Maart3n, and MLC already left a while ago with Caek's magical teleporting dice nonsense.
Oooone is the lonliest number...

Character:


Ociamarru: [4]
You enter sleep mode from inactivity, while the scared casino girl is confused, but eventually realizes you're not moving and sneaks off.

Character:


Events:
The Queen's rampage continues, while the Skellingtons all work double time to assemble a new ship. Pegbeard, despite himself, is impressed at their industriousness. He could never quite rouse these lazybones like this.


Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:35 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
Run him through with my sword and rip out his bones.
"I'M BUILDING THIS ARMY ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!"


Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:52 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> Turn my Wreckbone Cleavesweeper back into skellingtons, and command them to forge me a new weapon.


Mon Feb 08, 2016 6:45 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> Make a GRAND ESCAPE


Mon Feb 08, 2016 12:18 pm
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
"Goddamnit."

Go somewhere where I can do my dice tricks in peace. Pick up some sunglasses on the way there.

EDIT :

Sod it. Let's embrace this madness.

"Sailors, eh? Well guess what? Say hi, say hello, say hey, because the ARMY'S ON ITS WAY!"



Roll up sleeves. Smash a nearby table to splinters and use the largest shard for melee fighting.

"Now let me show you a trick I learnt back in the Gulf."

Image


Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:05 pm
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