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 Roll to Dodge GOD 
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Data Realms Elite
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
Keep gambling and keep on forcing the dice to roll the way I want.
It's payday, fellas!


Sun Nov 01, 2015 7:21 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> Leave the table with my winnings, begin eating the tasty chips with my bf. (bone friend)


Sun Nov 01, 2015 7:59 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
>Attempt to bet with sporks


Sun Nov 01, 2015 12:55 pm
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> Look for windows or anything I can use to get out or at least something my trusty soldier can get out from. My quest for world domination will not stop here!


Mon Nov 02, 2015 10:05 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> Channel the power of Bony-Yugi, skeleton king of games. It's time to D-D-DDDDDUEL!


Tue Nov 03, 2015 1:31 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
dragonxp: [5]
You approach the nearest poker table and sit down, earning a few dirty looks from better dressed patrons, but none of them actually raise a complaint. You then lay down a heaping fistful of sporks on the table, and the dealer opens her mouth to object, then sees the large spork golems behind you. While they are made of sporks, they are also 7 feet tall and glaring at her menacingly.
She wisely decides to keep her comments to herself, instead just dealing you out a hand with the rest of the players, who are also unnerved by your white plastic bodyguards.

Character:


CrazyMLC: [4]
Deciding you're done with this ♥♥♥♥, you turn a quick 180 and throw the dice over your shoulder, letting them land on the table as you walk away. You hear another cheer behind you as you're leaving, and you assume there was another hit. The two of you go find a nice seat with a view of the casino floor, and munch on your chips while you people watch. Hm, a bit dry, but not terrible.

Character:


TheKebbit: [1]
Ok, what if you...


♥♥♥♥. You forgot symbols.

Character:


CaveCricket48: [2 Upside Down is 5]
PEGBEEEEEARD! IT'S TIME TO D-D-DDDDDUEL!"
Why can't you stop yelling, jeez. Is it just a Skellington thing? Probably. Wait, what? Pegbeard looks shocked. What's going on? Suddenly, you feel a tap on your shoulder, and you quickly look back to see who-
What.
There's uh. Some skinny guy in a shiny blue jacket and pants, with some absolutely outrageous hair and a stupidly large pendant is semi transparent and floating behind you, staring triumphantly at Pegbeard.
Uh. Who are you?
The King of Games. And it looks like your Stand. It took you quite a while to awaken me, but the call of a true Game has roused me from my slumber.
...What.
"AH, SO YE HAVE A STAND TOO? THEN THIS MAY YET BE A FAIR FIGHT LADDIE!"
As he speaks, a ghost with an obnoxious cape and even MORE outrageous hair than your ghost's appears behind pegbeard, with a big glowing eye symbol dominating most of the other ghost's forehead.
WHAT THE ♥♥♥♥.

Character:


caekdaemon: [1]
As you cheer, two guards suddenly appear behind you. They want you to come with them to have a talk.
Hm. They seem to have some sort of Dice Magic Detectors.
Or perhaps its that fact that your eyes glow with the faces of the dice you want when you're using your powers.


Maart3n: "Oh hey Caek! Welcome to the detainment room! Me and the Fortress of Diplomacy here have been keeping these guards company!"
"YER MOTHER WAS A SHREW'S ACCIDENT ON A PARK BENCH"
Maart3n: "Not sure where Jack Boningson went. Or why they didn't take my sword."
Well this is happening now. The heck's a Fortress of Diplomacy?
Well you guess you won't find out any time soon, cause Maart3n busts right out of the room moments after you arrive. Seems they forgot to lock the door after putting you in.

Character:


maart3n: [6]
While your armor continues to weaponize the english language, two more guards bring someone else in. Hey wait, that's Caek! He was on the ship too!
Maart3n: "Oh hey Caek! Welcome to the detainment room! Me and the Fortress of Diplomacy here have been keeping these guards company!"
"YER MOTHER WAS A SHREW'S ACCIDENT ON A PARK BENCH"
Maart3n: "Not sure where Jack Boningson went. Or why they didn't take my sword."
Wait. You still have your sword? Oh, well screw this then, you're blowing this popsicle stand.
You draw your sword and walk right out nonchalantly, running almost immediately into two surprised guards.
Guard 1:"What the hell are you doing outside the Detainment Room?!"
Suddenly, the Fortress speaks up, this time with more force and anger than any other words spoken by it so far. It speaks so vigorously that the walls shake a bit and your eyes lose focus for a moment.
"CLAP YER TRAPS YOU LITTLE BINGEASHITS."
Immediately, the two guards clasp their hands over their mouths, then look shocked as they realize they can't move their hands away. Huh. This is new.
"OH YEAH, FORGOT I COULD DO THAT! OI, WANKERS, GO HAVE A ROUGH AND TUMBLE WITH YOUR BOSS!"
They immediately run off, presumably towards their boss, with scared looks on their faces, hands still clamped over their mouths.

Character:


Seraphimo: [3]
You look around frantically, but the architects here knew what they were doing. This place is impenetrable, no getting out.
But then, providence shines through! (Continued in Game Events)

Character:


Ociamarru: [5]
Hmmmmm. This will take some...
Finesse.

You punch the ATM extremely violently, and your fist goes straight through the screen and out the other side, causing the whole thing to emit sparks violently. Down below, in the cash slot, $20 bills begin spraying out from the slot en masse, covering the floor. Awwwww yissssss, makin bank! You quickly scoop up as much of the cash as you can, giggling like mad, and make off with several thousand dollars before the ATM runs out.

Character:


Events:
A much larger rumble sounds, this time nobody misses it. In fact, many pairs of dice are disrupted, roulette wheels are thrown off, and several slot machines go into a TILT mode. Oh dear, what in the world is causing that?
Suddenly it's made clear what is causing that, as a massive section of the roof cracks apart and is sucked away into the sky, revealing a titanic floating old woman's head in a large elaborate crown, eyes ablaze with red light and a stormy nimbus of crackling energy behind her.
"OI! HEARD YOU WERE TALKING ♥♥♥♥ LIKE I WOULDN'T FIND OUT!"
Pegbeard and MLC's Bonefriend both freeze mid action, then turn to look at the giant floating head while shaking wildly, their bones clattering together.
"Q-Queen Elizabeth. But. But. But."
"♥♥♥♥ WE'RE ♥♥♥♥ WE'RE ALL ♥♥♥♥"

The giant monarch's head sweeps her gaze across the Casino, in this case literally as crackling red beams of terrible eldritch energy project from her eyes and sweep across the ground, eradicating all that they pass over. She spots MLC's Bonefriend and turns off her eyebeams moments before they reach him.
"YOU THERE.
U WOT M8?"


Thu Nov 12, 2015 4:22 am
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Data Realms Elite
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
Try and make my dice magic undetectable.


Thu Nov 12, 2015 8:45 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> What a fortunate turn of events! Use this opportunity to get out alive!


Thu Nov 12, 2015 8:55 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> Make some fish and chips for Elizabeth to make friends with her. (Use some of my new tasty chips, of course.)


Thu Nov 12, 2015 3:12 pm
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
>Call upon memories of my preschool education!


Thu Nov 12, 2015 4:52 pm
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
"Is that my cue?"
Manhandle the nearest atomically-sound casino employee into taking me to wherever they keep the money.


Thu Nov 12, 2015 6:22 pm
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
Decapitate pegbeard!


Fri Nov 13, 2015 3:59 pm
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
"Alright mates, let's play"
>Play poker


Sat Nov 14, 2015 12:12 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
> DUEL


Sat Nov 14, 2015 12:13 am
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Post Re: Roll to Dodge GOD
dragonxp: [2]
dragonxp: "Alright mates, let's play."
You lift your cards to your face, analyzing your options. Hmm...
They are few. Hmm...
You lower the cards to look at the rest of the table. They are currently a large pile of faintly smoking ash.
You turn to the right, and see an eye beam from The Queen of England sweeping away across the casino floor, atomizing the carpet as it travels.
Hmm...
You think this means you win. Poker, Rules of Nature edition.

Character:


CrazyMLC: [3]
Ok, ok. Giant monarch abomination. Just gotta... befriend her! With uh, food! Fish and chips! Brits like those!
You have some poker chips, perfect, that's half the battle. So uh, you need some fish! Well, there's a zombie shark over there. But that's a zombie, and also shark. Not suitable for fish and chips at all.
Ok, what about the ball-man? He does have lobster hands. But that's shellfish, dammit.
Ok, no. You'll have to make do. Think. Think.


CrazyMLC: "Hey, uh, your Majesty! I have prepared some Fish and Chips as a peace offering for you!"
The Queen stops her laser-filled rampage for a moment. Your food offering is covered in a red glow, and flies up to the Queen's face, stopping in front of one eye. She takes a close look at the food.
...
"OI. U FOCKIN WOT.
U WOT, U WOOOOT M8?
IS THIS FOCKIN SPAGOOTER. IS THIS FOCKIN POKER CHIPS.
U LIL ♥♥♥♥ U DONE IT NOW, UR ON MY SHITLIST NOW M8, I'LL FOCKIN RUN U THRU."

♥♥♥♥.

Character:


TheKebbit: [1]
Ok, ok, you can fix this. Just need to call upon your most basic education.

...

OH NO BAD THIS BAD CAN'T WORDS GOOD POOP.

Character:


CaveCricket48: [1]
Your willpower roaring with energy, ready to fight in the most noble of all competitions, you and your weird ghost rev up your card deck, as does Pegbeard.
With a ridiculously overdramatic flourish, both of you draw!


3 turns later, Pegbeard controls a Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon, only a Mystical Space Typhoon and Wall of Revealing Light in your hand and a Dark Magician on your side of the field, and 350 life points to your name.
It's your turn. Draw a card.

Character:


caekdaemon: [6]
You follow behind Maart3n back towards the casino proper, while communing with your Dice Master power.
You gently beseech the gods to not make your eyes glow when you use your dice-deciding power. The gods consider this long and hard, their near limitless abilities meaning they can compress countless debates and discussions, long periods of introspection, and viewing of your own deeds into the space of a second.
They respond.
A gigantic stone die crashes through the ceiling where you were a moment ago, landing only inches behind you. As you slowly turn, peering through the haze of plaster dust and you notice some slight decoration around the one foot wide pip on the surface of the die facing you. Getting close, you examine the decoration, which turns out to be a few words, engraved in repeat in a ring around the pip.
lol no.
You then notice that the words seem to be lit up by some sort of light coming from your eyes.

Character:


maart3n: [6]
With the guards out of your way, you quickly make your way down the hallway at a bit of a sprint, not paying attention to the ceiling collapsing behind you halfway down the hall.
You quickly make it back to the casino floor, and a quick glance around shows Pegbeard, engaging in some kind of strange magic card game with CaveCricket, while a very large floating head of Queen Elizabeth screams angrily at CrazyMLC.
Hm.
Well, let's try this! You pretty much throw yourself at Pegbeard, flying sword first and aiming for the head. He looks over just in time to see your sword collide with his neck, and immediately down goes both Pegbeard and you in a big pile of scattered bones. Victory! Oh hey, your Sword Bone of Sword Boners changed, the bone is black now. Like Pegbeard's.
Wait, why are the bones rattling. Oh gosh, they're forming back into a person. Ohhh, he's not dead. He's not dead at all.
Ohhhhh he's a skeleton, decapitation means nothing.

Character:


Seraphimo: [1]
You jump for the new hole in the ceiling that this flying monarch head has created!
You cannot fly. In fact, you go about 2 feet into the air before falling to the floor, face first on a pretty large amount of broken glass.
You indulge the floor in some screams.

Character:


Ociamarru: [3]
"Is that my cue?"
Looking around, you grab the first atomically sound casino employee you see.
Yes, you'll do, the girl manning what used to be a roulette wheel. All your atoms and molecules seem to be in the right places. And you're decently attractive, even while scared for your life!
"Alright miss! We're going to the nearest money vault your casino has! I warn you, I may or may not be a dangerous robot, I would suggest taking me there immediately!"
She gives a small squeak and a nod, and with your fist pointed at her with her hands raised slightly into the air, she begins leading you through the back hallways. Everyone back here seems to have either evacuated or gone to see what the ruckus is.
After 20 minutes of walking, you find yourself outside a large round steel door, not unlike a bank vault door.

Character:


Events:
The Queen begins spinning around, having been slighted by MLC's offering of spaghetti and poker chips, while spraying her bright red eye beams everywhere, vaporizing roof and rafter in large swathes. Entire sections of ceiling begin falling, along with even more screams as people are crushed and run in fear.


Sun Nov 29, 2015 2:22 am
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