SOON.

Are you functionally retarded or something? Why would you make one and then not know how to do it?
User was warned for this post.

So he has at least an excuse.

...Aaaaannnnyyywwhooo....

>Request the military take care of this giant cupcake. It's lowering my precious city's property value! Oh, and killing catpeople too. BUT THINK OF THE PROPERTY VALUES!

Rolling, ya impatient bastards.

Bentus [1]: Suddenly, your various phones begin ringing off the hook. Soon, you determine that a very very large cupcake has fallen in the middle of the city, destroying half of your precious town. You grimly strengthen your resolve, deciding that the military must take action. Several bomber planes are deployed within minutes, and you sit by your window, watching the cupcake anxiously. After a few more minutes, the bombers scream overhead, releasing multiple black specks over the cupcake.
"5...4...3...2...1...IMPACT!"
The bombs all hit the cupcake and get lodged in its frosting harmlessly.
Inventory:
- Godly Schrodinger's Cupcake
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Mayor of Purrolia

Tomaster [1]: "Well, what doesn't kill you...makes you stronger."
You attempt to chew your way out of the cupcake, and accidentally chew your way into a marachino cherry the size of a house.
Good god, there's cherry juice everywhere!
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Sticky

Duh102 [0]: Well, turning into a pony is still beyond your abilities, but as an Apprentice of Disguise, you can make yourself LOOK like a Pony. You do so, and walk back into the Pony Express. A green male with a star Cutie Mark greets you.
"Welcome to the Pony Express, where everypony is welcome! How can I help you?"
"Hey, I just saw everypony chasing someone down the street! What happened?"
"Bastard was carrying Cupcakes!"
"...Oh?"
"The nerve of these damned cats. Almost enough to declare war on them."
Inventory:
- Map to Ponyville
Abilities:
- Apprentice of Disguise
Conditions:
- Disguised as Pony

Roast Veg [1]: The very idea of a Bakeapocalypse bunker is preposterous. There is no shelter to be found from the coming pastries.
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:

Tokochiro [0]: You become the Mailman.
LET'S DELIVER SOME PACKAGES.
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:
- The Mailman

Game Events:
Bentus is in his Office.
Tomaster is in a giant Healing Cupcake.
Duh102 is at the Pony Express.
Roast Veg is somewhere in the city.
Tokochiro is the Mailman.

> Become able to turn into a pony. Become the best pony EVER.

Activate roll-thrusters.

Bentus [1]: Plan A failed. Time to rally the masses. You take a microphone set aside for just such an occaision out from your bottom desk drawer, plug it into a wall outlet, and test it. You then give a rousing and patriotic speech, declaring a state of emergency while simultaneously accusing the ponies of dropping the cupcakes upon your fair city. I don't type this up because I'm bad at that sort of thing.
The Catcitizens of your city all are roused to warfare, and grab their torches, guns, and blunt objects in a movement against the Ponies. The city is officially in turmoil.
Inventory:
- Godly Schrodinger's Cupcake
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Mayor of Purrolia

Tomaster [1]: The very NOTION of turning giant and bursting the cupcake apart is silly. Noone can just turn huge, that would be illogical!
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Sticky

Duh102 [0]: Using your tremendous forces of willpower, you can now switch yourself into believing that you're a pony! You can also disguise yourself better! Essentially, you can now become a Pony!
Inventory:
- Map to Ponyville
Abilities:
- Apprentice of Disguise
- Pony Transformation
Conditions:
- Disguised as Pony

Roast Veg [1]: You rip off your pants and grow ear hair.
You're doing it wrong.
Inventory:
Abilities:
Conditions:
- Pants-less

Tokochiro [0]: Taking some junk mail addressed to you, and using your Mailman Origami, you fold yourself a paper gun! It's ugly, but it'll do the job just fine! You even craft some paper bullets, using paper metal and paper gunpowder!
Inventory:
- Paper Gun
Abilities:
Conditions:
- The Mailman

Game Events:
Bentus is in his Office.
Tomaster is in a giant Healing Cupcake.
Duh102 is at the Pony Express.
Roast Veg is somewhere in the city.
Tokochiro is the Mailman.